In another post I have admitted my inability to be a good runner. You may have seen the picture online somewhere outlining what you feel like when you're running, and what you actually look like. That is me.
I'm sure most people will agree that this is funny, and unfortunatley probably true for most people. We feel like a gazelle, but really look more like a shuffling, wobbly, mouthbreather. For a long time this actually bothered me a bit, thinking that the gazelles running past me would be judging me. I often run at Lake Monger and I used to dread running past the part that was parallel with the road because people would see me running, and judge harshly. But then I got over it. I thought to myself, that if anyone actually IS judging me for how I look when I run then that is a much worse reflection on them than me, and who really cares what someone so shallow thinks anyway? They don't matter. But they're really unlikely to be worried about you at all anyway. I also then thought that if they DID think anything, they SHOULD be thinking "good on you" for getting out and running and doing something positive for yourself. And if they're not thinking that, then YOU certainly should be.
I recently went running with a friend who had the same negative thoughts, and while I totally related to her, I realised how sad it sounded. This wasn't me judging her either, as I have had the exact same thoughts myself. It just sounded different coming from someone else. It sounded sad because you're letting other people you don't even know affect how you feel about yourself. You're letting yourself get stuck in the cycle of caring what strangers think about how you look when you run, which then stops you putting 100% into doing something positive for your health, which then perpetuates the negative feelings because you're not doing anything about how you look, which you're sensitive about.
It's not just you who struggles with the idea of going for a run - it's often the gazelles as well. There are always times when going out for a run is low on the list of things you WANT to do. But the gazelles who look so graceful while they're running have been where you are too. Taking the first step out of the house is sometimes the hardest thing, especially if you're already sensitive about how you look. You feel like people are going to look at you and think all manner of negative things.
What you think is the most important thing - being proud of yourself for taking the first step, and motivated to make plans to continue taking steps are whats important.
Don't even concern yourself with the gazelles. Lions eat them anyway.