graduate teaching...

is hard. Not only do you have to plan and create everything for the first time, youre left alone in the classroom with no feedback from anyone. I do like being alone in the classroom and not being watched all the time, but it would bereally awesome to get some feedback for what im doing right/wrong. Ive recieved compliments from staff a few times, the deputy really likes what Im doing with the students, its nice to see the kids getting hands on experience and getting outside, and another teacher, who is sort of my HOD (unofficially - its how I see her anyway- btw HOD = head of dept for those playing at home) just said that she didnt know if anyone had told me, but I was doing a great job and have adapted really well to the school and to teaching a subject I was barely trained in... nice to hear, but some constructive advice would be nice too. Im pretty much alone teaching science - there is one other teacher who teaches one other science class, aside from that Im pretty much on my own to decide what the students learn. I have a lab tech who knows more than me, who, when i ask her to prepare experiements for me, brings out a load of stuff i didnt ask for and doesnt tell me how to use it. she brings out all the equipment I need but also a bunch of stuff I dont need. it makes me feel a bit stupid that I dont know what its all for. Im meant to be her superior, Im meant to know everything, and I dont.

As a graduate teacher Im finding one of the biggest things that Im struggling with is long term organisation. Im finding that I can have my classes organised but not further than a week, and Im realising what I need to teach as I go along... I cant say that by this time, the students should know this, this and this, and they should be able to tell me about this. Because at the moment Im learning it all myself. Im a PE major and Im teaching science, and most of the things I have to teach at the moment, I havent learned since high school myself. So its hard to see a terms worth of content and how to deliver it. Im just wading through the waters trying to make sense of it all and going lesson by lesson, week by week. I can feel it getting somewhat easier, I do see the light at the end of the tunnel and I think with experience I am going to get alot better at it, and once I know everything I need to know things will get so much easier. But at the moment its hard not to feel a little guilty that the kids Im teaching arent getting the as good a science education as theyre meant to...

Will have to just keep plugging away, and do the best I can while I learn how Im actually supposed to be doing this! Fake it till you make it!

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